By Donald M. Weill (excerpted from "The Reluctant Investor and Other Light Verse")

I hesitate to make a list Of all the countless deals I've missed; Bonanzas that were in my grip - I watched them through my fingers slip; The windfalls which I Should have bought were lost because I over-thought; I thought of this, I thought of that, I could have sworn I smelled a rat, And while I thought things over twice, Another grabbed them at the price, It seemed I always hesitate, Then make my mind up much too late, Avery cautious man am I And that is why I never buy. When tracts rose high on Sixth and Third, The prices asked I felt absurd; Whole block-fronts bleak and black with soot- Were priced at thirty bucks a foot! I wouldn't even make a bid, But others did -- yes, others did! When Tucson was cheap desert land, I could have had a hip of sand; When Phoenix was the place to buy, I thought the climate much too dry! "Invest in Dallas-That's the spot!" My sixth sense warned me I should not, A very prudent man am I And that is why I never buy. A corner here, then acres there, Compounding values year by year, I chose to think and as I thought, They bought the deals I should have bought. The Golden chances I had then Are lost and will not come again, Today I can not be enticed For everything's so overpriced. The deals of yesteryear are dead; The market's soft -- so's my head! Last night I had a fearful dream, I know I wakened with a scream; Some Indians approached my bed -- For trinkets on the barrelhead, (In dollar bills worth twenty-four, And nothing less and nothing more), They'd sell Manhattan Isle to me, The most I'd go was twenty-three. The redman scowled: "Not on a bet!" And sold to Peter Minuit. At times a teardrop drowns my eye For deals I had, but did not buy; And now life's saddest words I pen "If only I'd invested then!"